


Shot Through the Heart

by ghostystarr



Category: The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Alternate Universe, Bad Puns, Humor, M/M, Really Bad Puns, Romance, Valentine's Day, solangelo
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-14
Updated: 2015-02-14
Packaged: 2018-03-11 21:33:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3333671
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ghostystarr/pseuds/ghostystarr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A cupid’s arrow never misses its mark. …Except for that one time when a particularly overworked, cynical cupid accidentally shot himself. Solangelo AU.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Shot Through the Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Note that these 'cupids' in no way reflect the Greek mythological Cupid or the events in House of Hades. Bc he's a jerk. :3

Love.

It was _everywhere._

It was in the quaint little restaurant down the block, in the happy new family's home in the suburbs, in the heart of a nervous eighth grader approaching his crush.

There were all types of love: familial, platonic, romantic—the list went on and on. There was no limit to love, either, which very well could make it the world's strongest weapon. Humans spent their entire lives looking for it, yearning for it. Some found it all on their own, with no outside intervention whatsoever. That was true love. It was the rarest and most beautiful love one could ever hope to obtain.

For the rest of humankind, however, they needed a helping hand, which was where cupids came into play. They were all over the world, matchmaking and spreading the romantic atmosphere in any way they could; romance novels, goofy movies, idealistic candle-lit restaurants, particularly strong alcoholic drinks. The classic romances. Each cupid had their own specialty, had their own way of doing things, and they never ever gave up on a client.

They were always busiest, obviously, in February. Valentine's Day. Single's Awareness Day. Love and desperation were practically bursting from every window and from each lonely, hopeful heart. It was the best time of the year for cupids, of course, absolutely wonderful for business, and quite worth all the work to see all the happy couples exchanging chocolate and flowers and kisses.

And it made Nico _sick._

He scowled as he walked along the busy street, grimacing at a couple ferociously making out in an alley. Nico could _feel_ the pounding of their hearts and it made him speed up and growl angrily. "They'd better have a good reason for dragging me all the way out here," Nico grumbled under his breath, drawing his scarf closer to himself to ward off the winter chill. "Get a room!" he hissed at the intoxicated couple that was currently trying to shove each other's hands in their clothing. They didn't pay him any attention.

Sure, it was his job to make people fall in love but that didn't mean he enjoyed seeing obscene displays of affections in public. While most cupids would be ecstatic to see their couples so happy, Nico preferred to keep it at a professional level. He had his work and he had his personal life. He did _not_ combine the two.

The human population had an annoying, inaccurate vision of cupids—fat, naked cherubs with little wings and bows and heart-shaped arrows. Nico was horribly offended by that stereotype. He was a perfectly normal person when he wasn't on the job. He shopped for groceries like a normal human would. He put his pants on one leg at a time, just like everyone else. He had simple black shaggy hair, dark eyes, and decent enough features. He looked like the average young man to everyone around him. He just wasn't completely human. He was a cupid, a lower-class of angels, a matchmaker, whatever one wanted to call it.

And he was most certainly _not_ some giggling, chubby cherub with feathers growing out of his arse.

He finally made it to the noisy, rundown, hole-in-the-wall bar. He paused in front of the door, sneering up at the flickering fluorescent sign. It couldn't possibly be the place. He checked his phone, certain he had gone to the wrong address, only to click his tongue in annoyance and barge through the thick wooden door. The loud electronic music greeted him at once, as well as the overwhelming sensations of alcohol and desperation. Nico could _feel_ the emotions and pheromones around him.  It was heavy, stifling, no doubt because of the entourage of cupids that had congregated inside. It was dangerous for several cupids to meet up in such a crowded place, but Valentine's Day was a special day and this was a particularly special occasion.

"Ah, Nico! Over here!"

Nico turned in the direction of the familiar voice. There he spotted a group of his coworkers leaning around a tall table cluttered with bottles and empty glasses. He frowned and approached them.

"It's about time you got here! We were about to just go on without you!"

Nico just glared. "Then I could have had the night off, you jerks."

His three colleagues laughed, which only fueled Nico's irritation. He was _tired_. He had helped almost two dozen clients this month and four of them hadn't worked out. Nico's patience and confidence were wearing thin and he just wanted to go back to his nice, cozy little flat and enjoy a full night's sleep for once in his long life.

Leo clapped Nico on the back. "Trust us, _muchacho,_ we would love to have a night where we don't have to look at your depressing pout all the time!"

Nico's other two associates didn't bother to hide their humor. Nico redirected his glare to them. Lou Ellen faltered a bit, choosing to hide her face behind Dakota's tall beer.

Why Nico had been assigned to work with Dumb, Dumber, and Dumbest was beyond him. Leo was _too_ interested in their clients, Lou Ellen was too oblivious to ever make a right decision, and Dakota was usually too drunk to make sense of anything. That left Nico to do most of the work.

"Whatever," Nico muttered. "So, are you going to tell me why we're all here or should I just start learning how to read minds?"

Dakota laughed loudly, his beer sloshing over the top of his glass. His bright hair stuck out like a sore thumb in the darkly lit pub. Nico had often scolded him for sporting such a risky appearance, but Dakota was adamant about "preserving the awesomeness." To avoid a migraine, he dropped the subject altogether. "If you could read minds, we'd _all_ have the night off!"

"He's right. It's not like we have any other options."  Leo chirped, eyes sparkling.

"We are _all_ tired." Lou Ellen sighed overdramatically. She pushed back her long hair, sending a sympathetic look at Nico. "Let's just get to work, kay?"

"Whatever," Nico said again. He looked around at the pub uninterestedly. "So… what are we dealing with?"

Leo looked at his phone. "Ah, let's see… schedule says… Will Solace, nineteen, college student. He's apparently using a fake ID to get in."

Dakota flicked up a thumb. "My kind of man!"

Nico snorted. "Idiot. Where is he, then?"

Leo pointed to the bar. The four of them craned over the table to awkwardly look at a young man, obviously not twenty-one, leaning against the bar with a bottle in his hands. The only thing going for him was his height, though it gave a little credibility to his acclaimed age. Messy, wavy blonde hair fell in front of bright blue eyes, which were fixated on a lean, curvy brunette, who was giving him friendly smiles back. Nico rolled his eyes. "You needed my help with this? It's obvious, isn't it? Just set them up!"

"Well, you see, we've all tried," Lou Ellen admitted quietly.

"Nothing happens no matter what we throw at them." Dakota shrugged.

An amused smile worked its way onto Nico's face as he turned to Leo. "Really? Even you failed?"

Leo flushed angrily and mumbled something in Spanish under his breath that sounded awfully like a threat.

Nico grinned, even though it came out more like a creepy sneer. "So, I'm your last hope?"

"Don't push it."

He shrugged. "Well… What did you try so far, dare I ask?"

"The flowers." Lou Ellen raised his hand.

"The music!" Leo began fist pumping.

"The alcohol." Dakota sighed, nursing the glass in his hand.

Nico hummed, glaring at the roses sitting on the bar in between the man and woman. Usually, Lou Ellen's flowers cast off an irresistible aroma that was enough to spark the pheromones and things would usually go off from there. Leo's music was a questionable method, one that Nico never entirely thought of as credible, but the theory went that with the right music could perfect the mood. Apparently, the electronic pop atrocity they were hearing was what Will liked. Dakota liked to put his own little something-something in the alcohol, and Nico tended to stay far away from Dakota's infamous parties for that very same reason.

More often than not, only one of these things was enough to seal the deal. Having all three elements thrown at him at once and _still_ nothing? Nico hummed. "Maybe we should use the big guns," he said.

Lou Ellen fidgeted on her feet uncomfortably. Leo grimaced. Even Dakota set his drink onto the table. "We don't have clearance for that," he slurred.

"We don't have to report it," Nico reasoned.

"I'm not sure about this." Lou Ellen bit her lower lip.

"If the snob wants to pull the Charge of the Light Brigade routine then let him!" Leo huffed.

Dakota chuckled. "Awesome."

"Shut up, " Nico hissed, already typing away on his phone. "I want to get home as soon as possible and this is better than sitting here all night throwing useless party tricks at him."

"You just want to go watch your crime dramas," Dakota teased, "like a middle-aged housewife."

"Oh, what's that? You want me to make a middle-aged housewife fall in love with you?" Nico raised an eyebrow, feigning surprise. "How about I ring up Leo's mum and set you two up?"

" _Why?"_ Leo cried while Dakota and Lou Ellen roared with laughter. "You are the worst cupid ever," he seethed, crossing his arms. "Just make the dumb child fall in love so I don't have to see your tragic face any longer!"

"I hate you all," Nico announced, not for the first time, and turned his attention back to his phone. He sent a terse, yet professionally polite, set of codes to his manager. As they waited anxiously for a reply, they warily kept their attention fixed upon their target.

Will Solace had ordered another round of drinks before scurrying away to join a larger group of what Nico presumed to be classmates, all clearly under twenty-one. He cast a look back at the brunette at the bar and whispered something to a bored-looking man, who shrugged and said something else.

A little beep alerted the four cupids to the reply from their boss, the Head Cupid, who Nico had never met or seen in person. Nor did he ever want to. "We're set," Nico breathed and the other three men exchanged worried, curious looks.

"Well, let her rip, Lord Cardigan!" Dakota clapped Nico on the shoulder.

Nico blinked. "What? Why me?"

"Your idea!" Leo sang.

"Your problem!" Lou Ellen agreed.

Nico stood a little straighter. "Fine! I'll do it! I don't care!" He tapped the attached file on his manager's reply and at once a small little golden bow materialized in front of him. No one else in the bar paid any attention to it; no one else could see it.

After hesitating for just a moment, Nico reached out and grabbed it. It had been a long, long time since he had used one of these things. Management had long since decided that the bows were too medieval and had updated their wares a bit. Still, nothing they generated could pierce the human heart quite like the bow could, and if anything could make the American teenager fall in love, it was the instrument Nico was holding in his hands.

"All right," Nico whispered and drew back the string, a golden arrow materializing on command. "First, the brat." He turned towards Will, closed one eye, and hoped his aim hadn't deteriorated over the years.

"Hurry up!" Leo whined. "Even I need my beauty sleep."

Nico rolled his eyes but let go. All four cupids watched apprehensively as the arrow spiraled through the air. It struck Will in the chest and disappeared in a small burst of light.

"Bull's-eye!" Lou Ellen cheered.

"Now for the girl." Nico sighed, wiping a small bead of sweat from his brow. He raised the bow once more, drew back the string, and saw a second perfectly identical arrow appear out of thin air. He aimed carefully but the woman wouldn't stay in one place _._ One second she was ordering a drink, the next she was dancing vivaciously, and then she was talking with a random stranger. Will was supposed to fall in love with _that?_ Nico gritted his teeth as he readjusted his aim again and again. "Freaking… Stay _still!"_ he growled.

"Just do it already!" Leo slammed his hands down on the table, accidentally knocking over Dakota's glass, to which Dakota let out an offended shout, and spilling beer all over Nico's pants.

" _Goddammit!"_ Nico roared, patience broken. He was about to scold Leo deaf when the arrow suddenly slipped past his fingers. He let out a strangled, drawn-out gasp as he turned, horrorstruck, in time to see the arrow soaring through the air as if in slow motion. It missed the girl by an inch, bounced off the wall, and rebounded straight back. Straight back towards… Nico's eyes widened.

Before he could react, he felt the arrow hit him dead in the chest and he was propelled backwards. As he fell, he caught the expressions of his coworkers. Lou Ellen looked shocked and pale. Dakota was lamenting the loss of his drink. Leo looked like his birthday had come early.

Nico hit the floor with a loud crash, toppling over a few chairs and upsetting more than a few tipsy patrons. He groaned, hearing the commotion clatter around him and the panic of his associates and feeling a strange pressure in his chest that made him light-heated and a little nauseous.

Suddenly, he felt two strong hands pulling him up. "Hey, buddy, are you okay?"

Nico groaned again, head spinning, and attempted to open his eyes. A blurry pair of blue ones slowly came into focus. Tan skin.  Firm muscles. _Very firm muscles._ Who was...?  Oh. _Will_. The odd feeling in Nico's chest quadrupled and he nearly collapsed right then and there but Will's grip was strong and fast.

"Whoa!" Will chuckled, holding onto Nico tightly. "Easy there!" Nico liked how warm the man was. Strong, too. And handsome. That laugh was pretty cute. "You okay?" Will Solace, completely oblivious and blushing with a gentle smile on his face, asked in a melodic voice.

Nico let out an embarrassing giggle before falling silent. Nico's own face went white as the severity of the situation washed over him.  "Oh." Nico rubbed at his chest, which felt far too heavy and way too warm and oh God. He looked up at Will's smile and suddenly felt he may just be ill all over his shoes. "Oh, _no_."

**Author's Note:**

> [You better believe I turned Bon Jovi into an ironic Solangelo fic](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KrZHPOeOxQQ)
> 
> tumblr; [ghosystarr](http://ghostystarr.tumblr.com)


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